Why Does My Toddler Keep Throwing Food—and Even the Plate—Off the Table?
Part 2. Preventing food-throwing and building long-term trust
This is Part 2 of the series on toddlers throwing food.
In the first part we explored the reasons behind this behavior — and shared a calm, respectful way to respond.
Now let’s go deeper.
What if we could reduce these tricky moments before they even begin?
This part is about connection, prevention, and long-term trust.
Small changes, big ripple effects.
How to Prevent Mealtime Battles
The best solution isn’t to constantly react after food hits the floor — it’s to prevent those moments before they happen. Here are some simple strategies that can reduce throwing, tantrums, and frustration (yours included).
Small portions = fewer temptations to throw
When there’s too much food on the plate, your toddler may feel the urge to “do something with it.” It might be fun for them — but not so much for you.
Try this:
– Offer just 2–3 small pieces or 1–2 spoonfuls at a time.
– Refill gradually as they eat.
– Say something like:
“Let’s start with this. If you want more, I’ll add some.”
Less food on the plate = less impulse to toss.
And less mess to clean up.
Self-Feeding = More Control for Your Toddler
Kids are less likely to protest when they feel in control.
If everything is spoon-fed, restricted, or micromanaged — they push back. It’s their way of fighting for independence.
What you can do:
– Let them hold the spoon, even if they’re still learning.
– Offer foods that are easy to grab with little hands.
– Praise their efforts:
“You’re feeding yourself! Just like a big kid at the table.”
Independence reduces resistance.
Yes, it might get a little messy — but it’s worth it.
The “No, Thanks” Bowl — A Peaceful Alternative to Throwing
A simple but powerful idea:
Give your child a dedicated spot to place food they don’t want.
What to say:
“Don’t want it? You can put it here. You don’t have to eat it.”
This gives them a sense of choice and respect for their preferences.
Most importantly — the food stays off the floor.
Your toddler learns that it’s okay to say “no” — in a calm and respectful way.
End-of-Meal Ritual — A Predictable Finish
Toddlers thrive on repetition. Routines help them feel safe, in control, and grounded.
What to do:
– Use clear “closing” phrases:
“All done? Let’s wipe your hands.”
“Finished? Let’s clean up together.”
– You can add a simple song, gesture, or special cloth to signal the end.
A predictable ending reduces anxiety and impulsive behavior — and builds confidence through routine.
Shared Meals — The Power of Example
When a toddler eats alone, they might get bored, anxious, or want to “check” where you are. But when you sit together at the table, there’s less protest and more imitation.
What to do:
– Try to eat together at least once a day.
– Narrate what’s happening:
“Look, Mama is eating soup. What about you?”
– Put away your phone — your child will notice: this is our time together.
Shared meals aren’t just about food. They’re about connection and presence.
Acknowledging Emotions — Instead of Power Struggles
Sometimes, a flying spoon hides a storm of feelings: frustration, fatigue, boredom. And in that moment, your child doesn’t need “discipline” — they need support.
What you can say:
“You’re angry — I’m here.”
“I see you didn’t like that. The food stays on the table.”
“Is it hard right now? I’ll help you.”
– This doesn’t remove the boundary. But it adds empathy.
Acknowledging emotions matters more than being strict — especially when tensions run high.
Long-Term Strategies
When a plate goes flying, it can feel like the end of the world. But in reality, each of these moments is a chance — to build trust, connection, and a habit of listening and being heard.
Don’t Take It Personally
Your child is not trying to upset you. They’re not testing your love or throwing food out of spite. They’re learning.
Remind yourself:
“This isn’t about me. It’s about their growth.”
“I’m the adult. I can hold this.”
“I don’t have to be perfect — just present. That’s enough.”
Your calm response becomes the foundation for future trust.
Don't blame yourself.
And don’t assume bad intentions from your child.
Connection Over Control
You can aim for perfect order — but at the cost of tears, fear, and tension.
Or you can let go of control a little — and choose connection instead.
Guiding principles:
– Warmth matters more than spotless tables.
– Gentle boundaries work better than rigid rules.
– Trust is stronger than obedience.
What to say:
“I’m here. It’s okay.”
“Let’s figure it out together.”
“I see this is hard — I’ll help.”
Children learn to manage themselves through connection with you.
Pay Attention to Your Child’s Signals
Mealtime struggles are almost never about the food itself.
They’re often about your child’s overall state: fatigue, overstimulation, frustration, or anxiety.
What to watch for:
– How are they feeling before the meal?
– Was there a lot of activity beforehand?
– Do they need a break?
– Is the environment overstimulating?
What might help:
– Dim the lights
– Turn off background noise
– Sit quietly nearby without talking
Being attentive to these signals is not “giving in.”
It’s sensitivity — and sensitivity builds trust.
Highlight the Good Moments
Parents often notice the “bad” — because it’s easier to react to.
But it’s positive reinforcement that gently and consistently shifts a child’s behavior.
What to say:
“I loved how calmly you ate today.”
“You put the broccoli in the ‘no’ bowl all by yourself — that was awesome!”
“I noticed how patiently you waited for your spoon.”
How to praise:
– Be specific (what exactly you appreciated)
– Be genuine (not scripted or over-the-top)
– Focus on the action, not the label (“You’re such a good kid”) — describe the behavior
By noticing the good, you help your child see:
“I can do this. I’m capable.”
A Gentle Reminder for Parents
Sometimes it feels like everyone else has it all figured out —
kids eating like in a picture book, plates staying on the table, floors spotless, and parents always calm.
But the truth is — almost every parent has faced flying food, spoons hitting the ceiling, and nerves stretched thin.
And that does not mean you’re a bad parent.
It just means you’re living with a little explorer.
Your child isn’t doing this to upset you.
They’re experimenting, learning, growing — through actions, through mistakes, through testing your boundaries.
Yes, they don’t know how to do it differently — yet.
But they will learn — if they have an adult nearby who stays warm, consistent, and kind.
Even when things get messy.
The goal isn’t a perfectly clean floor.
The goal is a calm, confident child who knows:
“I’m safe. I’m heard. There’s a caring adult by my side.”
You’re doing great
You’re reading this — that means you care.
You’re trying to understand — even when you’re tired.
You’re looking for gentle, effective ways — and that already says so much about you.
– Your presence is a foundation.
– Your consistency brings safety.
– Your calm is an anchor.
Even if it’s not perfect. Even if you need to step out and take a breath. You’re here — and that’s what matters.
If this feels familiar — I’d love to hear from you.
How do you stay patient, hold the boundary with kindness, or recover after a tough mealtime?
What helps you reconnect — with your child and with yourself?
Or maybe you know someone who needs this today.
Feel free to share — this might be the reminder they’ve been waiting for.